they call me crazy

Thu, 11 Dec 2008 20:00:58 GMT

dear journal,
me and ben are still together
i go to mott
i am failing
kira doesnt really wanna hang out with me,
but i try to talk her into it.
my dads been tryin to hang out.
and life is gay.
the end.

heh

Thu, 03 Jan 2008 00:19:34 GMT

My Junkie Name
Abusin' Susan
Jobs Lost:	Fifteen
Cash On Hand:	Twenty Four cents
Last Item Pawned:	Fake Jewlrey
High:	Twenty One hours a day.
Piss Tests Failed:	Twenty Four
Drug Of Choice:	Hooka
Get Your Own at Biovox.com!

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 20:15:32 GMT

im a very depressing entry to read.

Fri, 26 Oct 2007 03:54:17 GMT

im a sad panda.

Tue, 23 Oct 2007 04:34:42 GMT

im gunna be a fairy for halloween.
i have no idea what im gunna do.

but im gunna be tripping.
or drunk.
and high.

i hope nothing lame happens...

because something lame always happens this time of year....

things overall are good.
nitty gritties are lame
the head shit is lame.
the wimpy shithead is creeping up...

slow as fuck, but obvious as jello.

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:31:37 GMT

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:31:29 GMT

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:31:20 GMT

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:31:13 GMT

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:31:06 GMT

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 18:30:58 GMT

Sun, 01 Jul 2007 07:22:35 GMT

thats my mind.

there's nothing going on.

oh my god.

Mon, 18 Jun 2007 22:57:14 GMT

desis sick.
bens sick.
desi got ben sick.
now we are both sick.

tis the TB.

i knew it wouldnt last long

Mon, 04 Jun 2007 06:16:02 GMT

i wish instead of turning 17....i was turning 18.
and i wish that instead of not working at all this weekend...
that i had just got my hours moved.
i wish i didnt hate so much.
i wish i worked during the week.. instead of weekends...
and i wish girls were easier to hang out with.

Wed, 30 May 2007 06:45:20 GMT

im addicted to livejournal, and will probably always have an attachment.
but ive gone back to personal journals.
ive lost all of mine..
and im thinking i threw them all away....
i get a little mad sometimes and do stupid shit.
either way....
bye livejournal.
ill still read and comment..
but my entries will be short, simple
...and will probably have a reason.

Wed, 30 May 2007 02:55:03 GMT

fuck.

Mon, 21 May 2007 23:58:56 GMT

by memorial day...
it will all have been said and done.
this is it,
and that is my final word.
cigarettes are for the unqueer.

Thu, 17 May 2007 22:20:15 GMT

im fighting the urge to eat everything around me.
everything just sounds so goood.
i hate when i miss things..
then i have to wait my turn
makesme incredibly sad actually.
i hope i dont end up sitting around all day.
=[

::edit::
so i ended up hhanging out with montrose kids.
and meeting some guy from colorado.
now im home and im sleepy.

Mon, 14 May 2007 15:25:17 GMT

i hate what ive become...
but im not going to forget the lessons i learned.
i cant... thatswhat they're for...
i <b>DO NOT</b> want a repeat of before.
i dont give a shit what the circumstances are...
i have to make a decision based on these options:
continue being bitter and watching my back and have everyone(him) get impatient with me for it...
or do i go back to how i was, holding the risk of having things suck really bad again...

i mean... i can ignore what happened and how it happened and how much it sucked...
but i will never forget it.

so... yeah. sweet.

the biggest thing i learned was :
dont trust anyone.
guy. girl. anyone.
even if they dont pose an immediate threat.

Thu, 10 May 2007 01:05:45 GMT

just kidding.

so my boyfriend is out with the foreign exchange student.
sweet as hell.
idk why i always feel uncomfortable...
but its kinda weird that he invites me everytime he hangs out with a guy..
but not when hes hanging out with a girl.
makes me feel like hes trying to hide something from me.
when i know hes not.
i trust him....
and i dont give a fuck about her...
but i still feel betrayed...
i wish he were here... so i can feel better.
he hasnt picked up his phone...
but i did only call once.
why am i so gayyyyyyyyy?

i cant explain it.
so i guess im just gunna suck it up and quit being a fucking cunt.

Fri, 04 May 2007 04:29:44 GMT

cool.

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 02:37:54 GMT

watch what you say around me...

i am very nosy.

i can figure things out with very small hints.

at least im upfront about it?

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 21:27:39 GMT

i went to school for a grand total of ONE hour today.
i fucking love school.

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 19:00:25 GMT

i almost had a heart attack this morning.
i have nothign to say...

bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Tue, 17 Apr 2007 04:41:32 GMT

i hate this feeling.
i need companionship.
not just in the sense of a signifigant other..
just someone who actually wants to hang out with me.
i always feel like i have to bribe people to hang out with me..
and when they dont after i just belittled myself...
it leaves me feeling worthless.
kira has a job and a million boyfriends...
ben lives a million miles away,
and seems to have better things to do anyways..
i hate that im trying not to cry.
i hate even more the fact that i have no apparent reason to cry.

i wish AIM worked.
and i wish i was worth it for once.

they call me crazy

heh

My Junkie Name

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i knew it wouldnt last long